It often comes as a shocking revelation, when a member of the community comes out of the closet. In a homophobic country such as Nigeria, the experience is a nightmare. To many, they can’t wish such to their enemy. To them, it is the greatest of all sins! In this article, a vivid picture is going to paint about the horrendous path parents of LGBTQ individuals walkthrough.
Most times, before the child comes out as a member of the rainbow community, they often see the signs. These so-called signs might be subtle or very obvious. Signs such as their son playing with dolls, being more keen to cook with girls than play a hide and seek with fellow boys.
For girls, they exhibit some masculine attributes, like playing with guns, having more male friends. Some show massive interest in manly sports like football, etc. These signs often purport that the child might grow up being gay. Parents of gay children often notice those signs but discard them since it is entirely out of control. Research suggests that before LGBTQ members come out to parents, the majority already know.
When these gay kids finally come out to their parents here in Nigeria, it comes as a brutal shock. The first thought that often arises is demonic possession. Instead of acceptance, they run to their pastor, and before a blink of an eye, a deliverance has been scheduled.
For lack of knowledge about human sexuality, parents of Nigerian gays believe their child is either possessed by a demonic entity, or bewitched by their enemy, or maybe learned the lifestyle from somewhere evil. As they try all means to cure their kid of these so-called abnormal feelings, the gay kid dwells in depression and, finally, pull the plug through suicide.
For parents who end up accepting their kids, their ordeal is even scarier. They are bestowed with a whole new responsibility to protect the kid from hate crimes, addressing health concerns of the kid, relationships equality, and so on. They automatically become the talk of the town. These parents are treated as an outcast in their community.
In the village meetings, they dare not contribute or speak up. If they dare, they will be shut down and told bluntly how they have failed as a parent. The church is even harsher in this regard. If they were occupying any vital position in the church, they are stripped off of them immediately, in extreme cases, excommunicated from the church.
They face these nightmares everywhere, even at their workplace. If the management is so kind, they might still retain their job. These nightmares are what have made family acceptance very hard. The consequences of accepting the sexuality of their children are better imagined.
Support for Parents of Nigerian Gay kids
If you discover that your son or daughter is a member of the LGBTQ community, it is very reasonable to be scared. But note that it was never your fault. You didn’t make any mistakes during the upbringing of that child. The best gift which you can give is ACCEPTANCE. A demon does not possess them. They are not bewitched, nor was it a decision they made.
They were born that way, perfect. They are not broken, and thus, they cannot be fixed. To ensure you deal with this revelation, it is paramount you surround yourself with people who see nothing wrong with LGBTQ folks. There are numerous organizations, and support groups you can join on Facebook. By being amid this immense support, you will learn to understand your gay kid better and love him or her the more.
Do you have a gay kid?