From an anonymous reader,
Hello LGBTQNigeria. I stumbled upon this blog from a queer Facebook page, and ever since, I couldn’t help but notice how genuine and helpful this platform is. I am a two hundred level student of Civil Engineering here in UNN. I have a serious problem, and sincerely, it has been a contributing factor to depression. The thing is, I have a massive crush on my straight best friend who is crazy about girls.
I have tried all I could to eliminate this depressing feeling, but it seems to be a futile effort. The more I try, the more overwhelming it becomes. Any time I see him with girls, the kind of jealousy that sweep over me is enough to kill. I have sexually assaulted him in his sleep, and truthfully, I am not proud of it.
How can I get over this feeling? I want to be just friends and not have this distractive feeling. It is affecting my friendship with him, and most of all, my social life. Please help me.
Hello dear anonymous,
Having a crush on a straight best friend is very common among gays. So, don’t feel alone in this struggle. However, if the feeling is so overwhelming, and you fear that you might do something irrational, you should apply the law of distance. Getting over a crush is hard, even harder when he is your friend. The more time you spend with him, the more the feeling grows.
To get over this crush, you need to take a giant step that will hurt severely. Distance yourself! That doesn’t mean you should quit being his friend, but you need to cut down the amount of time you spend with him. Discover a new hobby, find a new friend who is like a brother… try as much as you can to find something that takes your mind away from him.
The moment you start learning to live without him, the more you shade off those feelings. There will come a time, and you will wonder what attracted you in the first place. Yes, it happens! You might even feel disgusted with the thought of being with him. Distance is the solution to your problem.
I wish you love and light.